I’le tell ye a Tale that is merry and new –
You’ll like it the better, Because it is true –
Of a Comical Country-Squire Become
A Keeper of Coneys for pleasure at Home.
Derry down, &c.

A strange greedy Creature, with horrible Maw,
For She will Eat nothing but Flesh that is raw,
And Gobbles it up without reason or Sense,
Which put the poor Squire to grievous expense,
Derry down, &c.

But being long-headed, He trumped up a Claim
To Land on the Common that’s Royal by name,
Where he nurs’d up a Warren, by little and little,
Till the Wild Coneys found the Tame Coney Vittle,
Derry down, &c.

So the Squire savd his Money. The wife out of Order,
Sick or Sullen, this Tan [dame?] took her place in a corner.
But Oh Hone and Alas! The sweet Doings are done;
For the Warren’s Destroyed and the Coneys are gone.
Derry down, &c.

[Squire speaks:]
“A pox on the Poachers! the Diggers! the Devil!
The Justices slow, and the Neighbourhood Evil.
Our Pockets must pay, but our Pleasures are flown.
What shall Gentlemen do, now the Coneys are gone?”
Derry down, &c.

The Land upon B[rand] hill, ’tis very well known,
Where he planted his Warren, was none of his own.
He craftily stockd it with very small Labour
With Coneys the Poachers had stole from his Neighbour.
Derry down, &c.

Good Lord, what a Difference! I sigh when I’me told
Of our modern Squires, and the Gentry of Old.
Generosity then distinguish’d the Man;
But find Common Honesty now, If you can.
Derry down, &c.

The Turf is short-bitten by Rabbets, And now
No Milk can be stroak’d from the Old Woman’s Cow.
Tom Thresher’s poor Children look sadly, And say
They must eat Water-porridge three times in a Day,
Derry down, &c.

If our greedy old Squire can Escape without Blame,
Other Lords, Knights and Squires will soon do the Same.
All the Commons in England shall Warrens become.
The Coneys on Commons keep Coney at Home.
Derry down, &c.

This ís not the worst. Great Example’s a Mover,
And Each sorry Swain is a Criminal Lover.
Who will wed a poor Wife, that can have his Desire
Of a Wench that is Servant, and do as the Squire?
Derry down, &c.

Did I slip out the word “Example great”?
’Twas wrong! Both Squire and Boor will imitate.
Better have drawn the skreen. And yet, my friend,
Great Beelzebub’s a foul and ugly Fiend.
Derry down, &c.

Have Sawny and Jockey no claim on the common?
They’ll thieve, and they’ll cheat, swear and lie for a Woman.
The Parson may Pray, and may Preach with a Pox,
And bid you be penitent, and Orthodox:
The Squire’s Example does scab all the flocks.
Derry down, &c.

The Gentleman-Wasp Virgin-honey must taste,
The Bees shall take up with his Leavings at last.
What comes of the Spawn of this scandalous Crew?
Excisemen, and Footmen, and Parsons Enow.
Derry down, &c.

For what pay we Taxes? Is Government gone
Shall fourty good Bees labour hard for a Drone?
Then Rouse up, bold Brittons! Be valiant Men!
And burn nasty Wasps, As they stink in their Den.
Derry down, &c.

To live with an Whore, as a Lord or a Knight,
And flare, and look big, in the Country’s sight,
Blood-suckers o’ th’ Poor, Whilst themselves they do feed,
Which is worse than Rebellion, or Witchcraft indeed.
Derry down, &c.

By Cunning they live, which they call Politicks,
By Fraud, Circumvention, and fourty sharp Tricks.
What a Cobler would scorn, becomes the Sharp Squire,
As the Gallows, a Knight of the Post, for his Hire.
Derry down, &c.

What Man would not tremble, to think of a Maid,
An Innocent, Helpless, Debauch’d and betray’d,
Undone by her Master, the Rogue of a Squire,
Sure, Sodom deserv’d a less punishing fire.
Derry down, &c.

These Monsters of Nature, Our Squires of the Day,
Will taste of all pleasure, For none will they pay.
Griping Avarice, join’d to Debauchery, make
Them Devils incarnate, most fit for the Lake.
Derry down, &c.

If Murther in Embryo, and Rape, are a Jest,
The Land is defil’d, and the Man is a Beast.
Shall he leave an Heir? Let him jest at the Tree!
The Victim of Vice an Atonement will be.
Derry down, &c.

So, God Bless King George! And defend us from Evil
And send all Encroachers on Commons to th’Devil.
Let him flea the sharp Squire, who worrys the Poor,
Like ours, to wax wealthy, and live with an Whore,
Derry down, &c.

If Gentlemen venture Damnation at last,
Let all honest Fellows be modest and Chast.
Let us kiss our Wives, and let Wenches alone,
And every man be content with his own.
Derry down, &c.